It makes me physically ill to hear you’re sleeping with someone else.
Literally; physically ill.
I’ve spent the last few months quite alone in this new city,
Down and out, at the very moment when I needed you most.
Yes, I understand that I was the one who left you – but only physically.
To hear that you’ve moved on,
To hear that you’ve fallen for someone new,
To hear that he makes you happy,
That he makes you feel passion,
That he makes you feel anything keeps me up at night,
Tearing at my heart, eating at my mind,
Destroying me
like a hungry lion
Ravaging its lifeless prey.
I know that I should move on too,
I know that the image of you in my head,
The memories I keep,
The fantasy I’ve developed,
Is just that.
And inn a way, you’ve come to symbolize every comfort I left,
Everything I love,
And the idea of Home.
I should move forward,
Focus on the present,
Plan for the future,
But not dwell in the Past.
It hurts me to admit,
But save your youthful voice and giggling laugh on the phone,
All that is you, all that is us, is in the Past.
So we can stay friends,
If that’s what you want,
If that’s what I want,
If that’s what is best,
But I must find something new.
I must live my life here – in this new city,
In this new life,
That you are not a part of.
You will always hold a place in my heart,
A piece of my soul
Forever owned by, and aligned with, you.
All the things you taught me,
All the things I felt,
All the things we were together,
There is no question that the flame will never die out,
Because you were my first love,
The first time I felt passion,
The first time I was
As comfortable together
As I was alone,
The first time I touched Happiness, Maturity, Love, Understanding.
And if the circumstances are right again,
If the opportunity ever arises once more,
We may be together yet;
The Future Is Unwritten.
